In today’s day and age the word love has different connotations. They say it is easy to fall in love but tough to keep it going strong. This holds true for people of the current generation. However, this current trend of finding instant love is not particularly conducive to real love that has been relegated to the realm of fiction.

People in their thirties are also falling prey to this current trend of instant love. These ones are quite literally exploiting the technology available to them but seem rather confused using it. From Instagram direct messaging, to FaceBook, to Tinder. Everything is being used for finding Love. The boundaries are dissolving, there is no more an etiquette or the right way to approach anybody. Love is such a casual word, and such a casual feeling. It happens at the drop of a hat and vanishes faster than magic! The phrase ‘There are many fish in the sea’ has become true like never before. Nobody wants to make it work; everything is use and throw. The plethora of options actually confuses them in their decision making process rather than helping them in it. Obviously, as they say old is gold. So the old way of actually meeting the person, getting to know him/her is something that still works.

Love is a feeling that has no definition about when, how, where and why it happens. You could already know someone or could be meeting for the first time; the fit can click or be a miss. There is no logic to falling in love but nowadays millenials think practically. They have a checklist that must have ticks all the way before they fall in love.

It is more often than not an unrealistic list of aspirations and demands, fed by the polish and shine of posts on social media, our grandiose movies, and fake celebrity lives. So mixing the two makes it vulnerable to failing eventually. It is no wonder then that the number of failed relationships and marriages is on the rise all the more. The idea of marriage has lost its charm in the new world. Earlier marriage was about adjustments, mutual respect, trust, compatibility, and following traditions. Now marriage is all about whether both are receiving the mutually agreed upon commitments or not. It’s more about me than us. This hurts the real idea and concept behind a marriage. Marriage is a union of two souls. It’s not about what you desire from a relationship but what you actually give to that relationship. It’s more about giving and not expecting what you will get out of it. That’s the thing that you will enjoy most.

When you meet someone for marriage, you are actually searching for a relationship. This means that you are evaluating whether the person falls into your idea of a person who you can be with for the rest of your life. Nowadays, individuality is very important so it is essential that the person gives you that personal space that you require whenever needed and he/she respects that.

However, the evaluation should be on whether you can be yourself when he/she is around, whether you are comfortable as friends with each other. The idea of attraction and physical and emotional compatibility is also important. The mindset and background also matters along with the education level. Education helps the overall development of the person, the thoughts and ideas, the moral values and bringing up/background also plays a role in defining the individual. In India, society plays a bigger role in one’s life. If you are seen dating someone, then your relatives or friends will ask you questions. You have to be comfortable and confident enough to explain that it’s none of their business and when needed you will share things accordingly. But if you fall prey to the situation and let it affect your decision making process then it hampers the relations. Agreed, a girl has certain boundaries and is more answerable and accountable but it doesn’t mean that it bogs her down.

Sometimes, when you are once bitten, it’s all the more tough to make a decision the second time round.

Then all kinds of questions come in your mind. The ghosts of the past haunt you and you are more conscious about not making the same mistake again. It is important to make a wholesome, well-informed and a well-rounded decision. If things happen spontaneously for you, well great.

Love is half the battle won. But for that to keep working, respect and space for growth is most important. Give yourself and the other time, to get to know each other well. Travel together, meet families, friends, get out into social occasions. This is how you learn if you are compatible. It’s not something you take chances with. Go with your gut feel and build on it with external factors that matter to your lifestyle. Choose with wisdom, not on hasty impulse. The key word always, respect.

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